|
An Appointment With God
by Jonelle Foltz, adorer St. Frances Cabrini
Every Mass I attend, during most of which I serve as a cantor
or a choir member, is a holy experience for me because I am
humbled by the fact that I am there at all – in the presence
of Our Lord Jesus Christ in the Eucharist!
I observe the specially ordained hands of our holy priest
– hands of a man among men who has consecrated his life
in service to us – as he consecrates bread into Jesus’
Body and wine into His Blood. I am awe-struck at this miracle
each time! I cannot describe the thoughts and feelings which
ensue as I witness this double offering of priesthood and
of sacrifice, for me and for everyone present. I truly believe
that Jesus is there on the altar and I feel unworthy, yet
honored, to be there, singing His praises and helping to lead
others to Him. I, a person with so many faults and daily misgivings
about how I should act and the things I should say to others
each day, standing there on His holy altar, participating
in the holiest of celebrations – the liturgy of the Eucharist.
Jesus fills my soul with the fullness of Life at each Mass,
no matter what the days prior have brought. In good times
and bad, He is there for me, constantly sacrificing His life
for mine that I may live with Him forever. Every minute of
every day, He is with me as I live through my days and try
to help others – family, friends, customers – as
I am needed. “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but
only say the Word and I shall be healed!”
It always amazes me the conflicts that arise on those nights
that I have tried to commit just one hour with Him in our
Adoration Chapel. In the past, I had committed a specific
time and finally gave up due to all the other things I let
take precedence. But last year I heard a most poignant and
moving witness of faith from one of our fellow parishioners
who was a committed adorer. It so moved me that I decided
once again to devote one hour a week as a committed adorer
in my parish of St. Frances Cabrini – the time to be
with him again, just Him and me. He is my God! He is my most
important appointment! Without Him I am nothing!
Oh, I still have the conflicts – but I don’t let
them dissuade me from going anymore. I must go – I need
to be with Him. At those times when I must get a substitute,
I truly miss not going and “sitting a while” with
Him. I tell Him everything that’s going on (which, of
course, He already knows.) This allows me the chance to talk
– and listen for His counsel… for His sweet caring…
and to experience His love for me. He gives me hope and courage
to live for Him – to see Him in everyone and to live
for them – and to fight my selfish human tendencies.
He must increase and I must decrease (John 3:30). What better
way to do this than in total surrender to His Presence in
the Eucharist?
|
